In The Box, a personal parable

Nine months ago I found myself in the hospital with a liter of fluid in my right chest blocking that lung from filling properly and making it difficult to breathe. While I was there they discovered that I had a completely blocked artery that had caused some heart damage. This required a stent (tiny wire coil inserted to hold the artery open). Two days later they sent me home to recover.

As you can imagine, this set me back quite a bit. Now walking for pleasure and exercise was nearly impossible. Even short distances or the slightest rise in the path would leave me huffing and puffing. I would stop every few moments to catch my breath, then stagger on. After three or four weeks I became discouraged and felt really old!

Normally I love to walk at a good vigorous pace, especially along the beach or on our local woods trails. (See my next "principle" on the value of walking). But now, suddenly, nearly all that had been taken away. It felt as though I had been put in a tiny box with fixed, rigid walls (my new physical limitations), walls that severely restricted me. I was frustrated, angry, and really feeling my age, a royal bummer!

Then one day I had a beautiful ah-ha, one of those amazing gifts from the universe (or from God if you use that language). I thought, "I may be in a box, but inside this box are lots and lots of wonderful gifts and toys." These gifts and toys had always been there - my friends and family, Delia's garden, the birds at our feeder, the mystery novels I love to read, etc. - it was just that my fear and frustration had blocked them out so I couldn't see them. All I'd been able to see was the damn box! Now I realized that I only had to wake up and enjoy these gifts. How wonderful!

But then a second realization: this restricting box might be bounded by four walls, a floor and a ceiling, but if I worked slowly and steadily, I might be able to expand the box, make it bigger, provide room for more toys. I didn't know if I could do it, but it was worth a try. So each day I walked a little farther, lifted just a little more weight at the gym, or walked for 20 minutes instead of 15, 30 minutes instead of 25. Slowly my box got bigger; my body stronger, my lungs and heart more powerful. Today, after some luck and much patience and persistence, it's as though the box no longer exists. I'm back to walking my beloved hills for as long as two or three hours, with a goal of a three day backpack trip sometime in the next few months.

So my experience has been that no matter how much our lives become restricted by circumstance, there are always things we can enjoy, always toys to play with. We only have to wake up, notice, and decide to put our attention on the miracles around us instead of the difficulties. Sometimes this is easy, sometimes it takes effort, but in my experience it can change everything.