Wisdom Rant 1

Dear Stephen Hall,

Your book on wisdom has stimulated some interesting thinking on my part which I would like to share. Many of the sentences or phrases below should have whole essays to back them up, but this will have to do for now. Here's what I wrote a few days after starting the book, largely based on my experiences as a 73 year old.

For me, wisdom requires experience, thoughtfulness, an ability to self-examine with some depth, resources to process feelings and move through and beyond them, the ability to see something from multiple points of view, to understand that almost every problem has at least 4-5 possible solutions, that brainstorming with self & others can be useful, that ambiguity is a part of life, that it's possible to have multiple feelings about a given situation simultaneously. It also helps to have the desire to find a good working solution that is moral and ethical, to care about others, to be flexible, to have good self-control, and so forth.

Here are more factors that contribute to wisdom: A strong sense of personal ethics, but without rigidity; that is, being able to recognize that there are rare circumstances where the usual "rules" don't apply and that the "rules" may need to change over time (e.g., 100 years ago vs. the present day concerning the issues of population and Climate Change). Trust, gratitude, honesty, patience. The ability to love, to cuddle, to care. Being able to see things in historical context. To find the "truth" in any situation, even when (especially when) that truth challenges your personal world view (Have to define truth). Look for what's real rather than make assumptions or leap to conclusions, especially in relationship to other people. To be able to step outside your personal cultural milieu and view things from a broader perspective. To realize that cultural context can be everything. (We need to be careful about judging some aspect of another culture that we don't like, especially when we make the judgment from solely within the context of our culture.) To not be locked in by rigid religious dogma. To understanding that most mistakes are not something to be ashamed of, but something to learn and grow from. (Years ago a friend told me that if I couldn't report at least one mistake a week, I wasn't sufficiently on the leading edge of my life and wasn't opening myself up to the possibility of new learning.)

Mistakes and 20/20 hindsight: It's so easy to see so many actions as mistakes AFTER they have happened, while at the time of taking the action, one couldn't tell, and then we get locked up in self-blame rather than see it as a learning experience. (Sometimes, however, we make mistakes knowing full well it is an unwise choice and that's a different issue).

One of the key things that helps is the strong desire to act wisely while realizing that you will make mistakes at every step.

Things that get in the way include greed, selfishness, self-centeredness, lust for power, overpowering emotions, lack of self-control, racism and related isms, inability or unwillingness to see the larger picture, etc.

The importance for me of Re-evaluation Counseling for getting free of childhood and other hurts that otherwise make us more rigid. Un-cleared, these old hurts can greatly narrow our range of choices and the actions we take. (A huge topic that would take a book to explain.)

Understanding that the world is full of contradictions.

The ability to play chess with a given problem by projecting various solutions out a few steps to see where they might lead, then choosing what seems the wisest choice.

Related to this is the understanding that what appears to be a "solution", especially one we're strongly drawn to, may end up being a bad choice by create far more problems down the road. Example: The wonderful altruistic trait of humans to care for each other, including saving whole populations from starvation by shipping in tons of food. Meanwhile, the real problem is that there are far too many people for the local land to sustain so that without adding birth control, a well fed population will tend to grow, creating even more starvation.

Working through one's prejudices also leads to at least a little more wisdom.

Sense of humor - getting others to laugh or chuckle at life's foibles, heartaches, etc. The healing power of humor. There is something about the fact that I can now get others to laugh with almost every sentence I say. Odd, quirky twists of language or of ways to view the world or impossible exaggerations, or forms of self-deprecation, etc. that make people chuckle, and how laughter can relax people or defuse a tense situation.

Being able to change the world a grain of sand at a time by finding ways to appreciate others with just the right words that get through to them in a way that they can hear.

The healing quality of good listening.

Journal writing and the Shamanic Journey as tools to understanding the unconscious and the inner self. What are my fears, hopes, grief's? What drives me? Why do I want or do what I do? Just who am I? Also tools to help guide me in a conscious rather than unconscious way.

Being aware of the observer self while being present to the world around us - that extra level of awareness, aware of being aware, that is so rare and that opens the true self to the world.

Gratitude and understanding that so much of who I am comes from those before me. Being able to see and be grateful for the amazing advancements we humans have made while also recognizing the huge problems that come with those advancements.

The ability to trust in others, even at some risk. Actively trusting someone has the potential to make them more trustworthy, but also enhances relationship and community. It also strengthens the character of the other person by increasing their self-esteem.

A corollary of trust: When a group or community is struggling to resolve some issue, to be willing to let go of what I want in order to help find a common solution that works for the community as a whole. Ideally, since I am part of the group, a solution that works for all also works for me, and in fact, in the long run, might be a better solution for me than the one I was holding onto at the start. NOTE: We so often think, in our culture, that such a process must involve compromise - that each side must give up something. But this is not necessarily the case. Many times a search for a 3rd or 4th or 5th alternative can solve the problem without the need for compromise. We just have to be open to that possibility, have faith that it might be possible, and work toward it. Quaker faith and Quaker silence.

That's as far as I've gotten for now. Thanks for listening and I would love any comments you might wish to make.